Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Making - and Keeping - Caregiving Resolutions

As one year ends and another begins, many of us make resolutions to somehow improve our lives ... to exercise more frequently, to eat more healthily and/or to stop smoking are all common goals. Resolutions are a good idea to help us strive to better ourselves ... just keep these small and more realistic! It is far easier to give up on that grandiose plan to lose 50 pounds by the end of January than it is to go for a 15-minute walk each day.

Even when caregivers are consumed with tending to the needs of older parents, they can still remember to resolve. In fact, focusing on your own health and personal well-being can prove to be very important as you serve as a caregiver for another person. To make matters easier and to give you the best chance of succeeding, I suggest you make only one resolution for this next year ... that is, to accept your own humanity. Unless you happen to have a secret identity as a superhero, you cannot slip into a phone booth to change and then leap over tall buildings and achieve great things. We all have our own limitations.

How you remember your own humanity is up to you; however, here are a few suggestions:

Know that it is acceptable to lose your temper or cry. Caregiving can be an emotional rollercoaster ride and it is perfectly "okay" to feel such emotions. On a related note, know that it is also acceptable to laugh. If you deem such emotions unacceptable, simply apologize for them and carry on.

Accept those days when you may forget to pick up something for your loved one. Many of us are trying to multi-task to an extreme. Last time I checked, all of us only have two hands, two arms and two feet. The more you attempt to do, the more mistakes you are likely to make. Slow down. Don't beat yourself up if you overlook to run an errand or miss dispensing the occasional dose of medication for your loved one.

Organize - but on a smaller scale. Cracking open a file cabinet drawer of past parental income tax returns to review can be overwhelming. Work on these type of jobs slowly and seek out help, when and where you can. Look at less large undertakings. Perhaps you can work through Mom or Dad's closet, pull out clothes which don't fit anymore and donate these to a community cause? By doing so, you are helping your loved one (by reducing the closet clutter), helping yourself (by keeping your responsibilities more realistic) and helping others (by providing needed items).

This may not be new advice to you; however, write that resolution down and post it in a conspicuous spot (e.g. the refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror or on your bedside table). Even when you forget your resolution (and there will be times that you do), it will be easy enough to read this again and remind yourself of your own priorities.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Cellular Telephones - A Caregiver's Hotline

As a caregiver, phone calls relating to your parent can come in any time day or night and you have to be prepared. Instead of relying on the traditional landline telephone in your home (which may well be being used by another member of the family), why not use a cellular phone instead? Consider the following benefits of cellular phones for caregivers:

1) Cellular phones are mobile. Tuck one into your jacket pocket and you are available pretty much any time and anywhere. While coverage areas are improving, you may experience a "dropped call" now and again if you are inside of a building, stairwell or underground parkade. Being readily accessible can provide more peace of mind for a family caregiver.

2) Cellular telephones can be dedicated lines. What I mean by this is, should you choose to share your mobile number within your parent's care circle, you will only get calls on this phone pertaining to your parent's care. Yes, you may answer a wrong number occasionally, but the majority of calls received will be from Mom or Dad's doctor's office, the bank, the drugstore pharmacist and so on.

3) Cellular telephones can include useful calling features. With my mobile phone, I found that both voicemail and call forwarding were well worth the few extra dollars charged per month. With voicemail, even when I was unavailable or outside of the calling service area, someone could still leave a message. An alert would sound when I became available. With call forwarding, I could easily program in another number where I would be for a temporary basis. Callers would be transferred over automatically.

Should you decide to invest in a cell phone for caregiving purposes, exercise some caution. Such phones do come with plenty of optional bells and whistles - these are features which you pay for but never use. Consider airtime packages carefully ... many mobile phones offer free calling for evenings and weekends but charge by the minute during the day. How many calls do you expect to make or receive? Please don't overspend if you don't have to.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Gifts for Caregivers

Just what can you give your favourite caregiver for Christmas? One of the most treasured gifts will be time. By offering to stay with Mom or Dad for the day, you can help your caregiving friend immensely to seek out respite time for him/herself. Taking a personal break is imperative for a caregiver; this will, effectively "recharge the batteries" and he/she can resume the caregiving responsibilities.

If your favourite caregiver has yet to provide you with a "wish list", then consider these additional gift ideas:

Home-cooked Meal Delivery Service: I'm not referring to take-out pizza or Chinese food which you can get delivered. Take a look through your phone book to pinpoint companies which can provide pre-made, healthy and nutritious meals. These can be easily frozen until ready for use.

A Grocery Gift Card: Help to fill your favourite caregiver's refrigerator. Purchase a gift card in whatever denomination you feel most comfortable with and place this in the Christmas tree.

Vehicle Maintenance: Does your caregiver's car need some attention? Consider covering the cost of the next oil change or tune-up.

A Professional Massage: This can be an hour of personal heaven! Soothe away the stressors related to caregiving and your caregiving friend will feel rejuvenated again.

Coming up with a present idea shouldn't be difficult. You will know your caregiving friend and what he/she likes the best. A gift will come from the heart.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Trusteeship and Guardianship - Two Completely Different Terms

When it comes to applying for guardianship and/or trusteeship for your aging parent, it is absolutely critical that you understand the differences between these two terms ... each will give you only certain rights. While I am not a lawyer, I can offer the following summarized descriptions:

Guardianship: a legal document allowing a chosen individual the right to make personal decisions for the dependent adult. Guardians can choose what Mom or Dad eats, wears and lives. In addition, guardians determine healthcare choices as well as who Mom or Dad associates with.

Trusteeship: a legal document allowing a chosen individual the right to manage financial affairs for the dependent adult. This will involve making bank deposits and withdrawals, paying the regular bills as well as managing investments and any property (building/land) portfolios.

As you can see, there is a world of difference between being a guardian and being a trustee. Becoming one does not immediately mean that become the other automatically. After being granted the authority as Guardian and/or Trustee, you will need to distribute copies of official court orders to all of those involved with your parent's care and/or life (i.e. doctor, long-term care facility, banker, insurance agent) to keep on file. One person may serve as both a guardian and a trustee or you may split the duties. With sharing the responsibilities with my older sister, I served as Joint Guardian and Alternate Trustee for my father. This arrangement worked quite well, save for the times when my sister was out of town and unavailable. When this occurred, she would have to write me a letter transferring the responsibility to me.

Yes, applying for Guardianship and Trusteeship can be very expensive; however, it is well worth the price to seek out a legal authority. Ask plenty of questions so that you fully understand each role and know what you are getting yourself into. Trust me, you want to get this right.
Related Posts with Thumbnails