Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Once a Friend, Always a Friend ...


The value of friendship can never be denied. A good friend is one who shares your interests, is enjoyable to just hang out with and is supportive.

Good friends are extremely important to caregivers looking after a parent/friend/partner. These can be emotionally trying times and caregivers will need to vent to effectively reduce pent up stress. A good friend will be there when needed to provide a few encouraging words or a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

I well remember one good friend of mine who was there prior to and following my parent's deaths. We had a number of coffees and he allowed me to remember, without passing judgment. Having him there to simply listen in my time of need was immensely helpful.

Caregiving provides you the opportunity to identify your good friends. It can also quickly weed out those individuals who are not your true friends - these will be the people who disappear in your time of need, do not return your phone calls/e-mails and are never available to meet. Granted, caregiving can be a weighty topic, but a good friend will understand.

Remember to thank your friends for helping you ... a card, gift certificate or flowers will be valued. Doing this will illustrate to your friends what they mean to you and how much you appreciate how they have helped you.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Glen Campbell - A Silenced Singer


Singer Glen Campbell, now 75 years young, has Alzheimer's disease. Surprised? You shouldn't be! Unfortunately, Alzheimer's can strike anybody - even celebrities are not immune. Personally, I consider this a tragedy - while I was too young to remember "Wichita Lineman", I do well recall Campbell's hits, "Southern Nights" and "Rhinestone Cowboy". Having seen what Alzheimer's disease can do to an individual (my father had the same condition), I sympathize with Campbell's family and friends who watch by.

With Campbell's condition, this raises an interesting question. Just how do you feel about this? You could, like me, feel sad that the singer's life is now dwindling and any memories he still has will soon be lost forever. Alternatively, you may feel glad. This may seem like an oxymoron; however, it seems like anytime a celebrity does anything, it becomes public news ... therefore, Campbell's diagnosis may well increase the public profile of Alzheimer's disease and push scientists harder to find a permanent cure.

In the meantime, Alzheimer's disease regrettably steals another life. Family is left to mourn and fans are left to remember. It matters little who you are or what you do in life ... you, or someone you know, may become a victim. I just thought that Campbell's diagnosis would provide some food for thought. Think about it ... there may be a light at the end of the tunnel here. I can only keep my fingers crossed for a cure which cannot come soon enough.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Caregiving and Champagne - There is a Connection ...


Did your parents ever hire a babysitter to mind you for a few hours while they got out for the evening? It is quite likely that they did this. The reason for parents doing so seems quite apparent - they will love their children dearly, but they will require some time for themselves whether to just blow off some steam or rekindle a romance. Now, that the tables are turned and you are providing care for a parent/friend/spouse, do you not deserve the same privilege?

Yes. As a caregiver, there is a great deal of associated stress involved ... trust me, I know that the job is not easy! For your own health and sanity, you must find a way to safely release that stress otherwise you may be heading for a disaster and blow up at the most inopportune time and at the most unsuspecting individual. Consider a bottle of champagne for a moment ... if you loosen the wire on the top of the bottle, the cork may pop off without any notice at all. If your champagne bottle is sitting in a well of ice, the cork may well fly up and break a number of bar glasses hanging above. This leads you to an extensive clean-up where you must melt down the ice, wipe out the well for tiny glass chards and replace the ice.

My point here is simple ... always take care of yourself, first and foremost, to avoid potential disaster. If you don't like the idea of hiring a "babysitter" for your loved one, there are ample other more appropriate terms: caregiver, care aide, support worker and so on. Don't overlook that additional help can be provided by not only individuals but also by companies or organizations. Just one example of this would be a hospital day program. Such programs will provide qualified staff to care for your loved one for a longer period of time while you can escape. To find a day program, pick up your phone and start calling some local hospitals. Make sure you visit each program to confirm what they offer before registering your loved one. The same can be said for hiring an individual to provide additional care - a personal meeting will be best to gauge his/her interest in and aptitude for the position you are offering.

Mom and Dad were onto a good thing with babysitters ... while you may prefer to handle your loved one's affairs personally, there is nothing wrong with minding your own health as well by stepping away occasionally. In fact, I strongly recommend that you do so!
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