Do You "Care" or Do You "Do"?

Imagine that Mom can't bend over to tie her shoes or Dad may struggle to pull himself out of his favourite armchair. What will you do? Do you simply offer to lace up the shoes for your mother or heave Dad upright? With only assisting, where and when necessary, the senior can maintain a sense of dignity and independence for as long as possible. This is important as it provides for a better quality of life. It's also important for caregivers to differentiate between the two terms of caring and doing.

Is there not a sense of pride in getting things done yourself? Whether it is vacuuming the living room, defrosting the freezer or tackling your income taxes, a person can often feel great accomplishment in getting the job completed. No matter how old you are, I believe this feeling still lasts. While it may seem easier for you to just do whatever needs to be done, encourage Mom or Dad to remain independent and challenge them to function for themselves.

Know that there are many excellent products on the market today to help a senior function independently and safely in his/her own home. Grab bars for the bathroom, a stair lift to transport a senior from the main floor to the second floor, bath chairs and so on. Drop into your neighbourhood healthcare supply store and scour the shelves ... I did this once recently and was absolutely amazed at what was available. If you cannot find what you are looking for, just ask the store staff ... they are there to help you. Even if a product is not currently in-stock, technology is always changing and something may well be designed.

Preparing for the Podium

I have been working feverishly for the past several weeks on preparing and rehearsing a speech - scheduled for early this week. As an author, I have been invited in to visit a local senior's centre where I plan to discuss caregiving and share a few choice excerpts from my book. Admittedly, public speaking has never been my strongest point (writers much prefer the solitude of their own computers rather than being out in the public eye) so this is a nerve-wracking experience, due largely to the fact that I remain unsure of how large my audience will be.

It occurred to me that caregivers can - and do - experience similar anxieties. Without knowing exactly what they are getting into or what lies ahead, there may be good reason to balk. Caregivers may end up asking themselves all types of questions: "How can I help?" "What will happen to Mom/Dad?" Granted, there have been some times in the past several weeks when I have wondered silently if I can actually pull this speech off ... I believe that caregivers often question their own abilities as well.

My best advice? Grab the bull by the horns and do it anyways! As the old saying goes, "Practice makes perfect". You may well surprise yourself by both excelling in the role and learning a few things along the way.

When I helped to care for both my mother and father, I know I stepped out of my own comfort zone; however, I did live to tell the tale. Serving as a caregiver may well be foreign to you; however, we often encounter new challenges in our lives ... is it better to run from these challenges or face them directly?

Caregiving - Not Just for Close Family

Who can provide care to a senior? It's not a trick question! Truly, anybody who is willing and able to do so. In today's society, we, typically, think first of close family members providing eldercare ... maybe a daughter is now handling the banking, a son is shovelling sidewalks clear of snow or a husband is helping his wife get bathed and dressed in the morning.

Many other people can - and do - become directly or indirectly involved with eldercare. I am thinking of friends, extended family and even neighbours who can also help share the responsibilities. A friend of mine and fellow writer (you can find her on-line at http://kenna-thescribe.blogspot.com) in-fact mentioned to me once that she regularly visits an elderly woman. As this woman is going blind, one thing my friend does is open and read her mail. Does my friend consider herself a caregiver? Ironically, no. I would argue with her; however, she chooses to remain anonymous.

Is this just the way life works? Why do some people not classify themselves as caregivers? No matter whether you are extended family, a friend or a neighbour, you still play an important role in the entire process of aiding a loved one. Please recognize and acknowledge this.