Whenever I am doing book signings, I meet three specific groups of shoppers - those who are not caregivers (or ready to accept the fact this can become necessary), those are who are currently providing care to an aging loved one and those whose caregiving time has past (a loved one has since died). All of these individuals may need some kind of support - the prospective caregiver with pre-planning, the current caregiver with support and resources and the previous caregiver with grieving and moving on.
Support is out there; however, caregivers do not always reach out for it. This could be for any of reasons (or a combination of reasons). I have heard that "navigating the system" is complicated (and, as a former co-caregiver myself, I would certainly agree). As just an example, I well recall meeting with a woman to discuss senior's housing options ... after talking with her for close to an hour, I left with my head still spinning and being more confused than when I started. Accessing resources should be made easier ... I like the example set by the Alberta Caregivers Association which has a "Caregiver Advisor" on-staff. This woman's job is to refer caregivers to appropriate programs and services - thus making it far easier for caregivers to find the help they need.
In addition to not knowing what resources may be available to them, caregivers may also be hesitant to ask for help - doing so may indicate a sign of weakness. I wasn't always willing to reach out myself but am not sure whether this was from personal embarrassment or a reluctance to admit to others that both of my parents were declining. But those I did tell were very understanding. And, in fact, when I accepted help from others, my job of caregiving became far easier.
My message here is this - human beings have limitations. No matter how much we may feel able (or obligated) to take on anything and everything that comes our way, caregiving is a responsibility best shared. Whether you work with siblings, senior's associations or healthcare providers, take t easy on yourself. Find that help and ask for it.
